From Anxiety to Freedom: Mastering the DARE Approach

By Dr. Monica Gupta

An anxiety disorder or any other mental disorder is difficult to understand. Most people do not understand how all-consuming anxiety can be. Panic attacks can feel extremely uncomfortable. For doctors as well, it can be difficult to fully understand, but much easier to prescribe medications after merely 10 minutes of listening to the patient. Family members who don’t understand can often lose patience. They might say things like, “Come on, pull yourself together.” It can be very hard to admit you have anxiety. How do you share with someone that sometimes you feel so out of control? For example, how do you explain to your best friend that you can’t make it to their wedding? They may think you are selfish and do not want to join them on their big day. They don’t understand that you are so shaken by anxiety that you feel out of control.

If you are diagnosed with anxiety, then trust that diagnosis. Do not second-guess it, fearing it might be something much worse. Do not ever think that you are alone—there are techniques available to overcome it and lead a successful life. More than 40 million American adults aged 18 and older are estimated to have an anxiety disorder. One of the goals of this article is to assure you that you are okay and that you can definitely overcome your anxiety. The basic aim is to reduce the levels of stress hormones in your bloodstream. All it takes is the right guidance and your commitment to getting better. The goal is to help you return to your old, carefree self.
Symptoms of anxiety:

1. Trouble catching your breath or shortness of breath
2. Racing heart (can go up to 130 bpm at rest)
3. Intrusive thoughts
4. Intense fear of leaving the house or driving
5. Overthinking
   Causes of anxiety:
6. Hidden, untreated trauma
7. A “perfect storm” of multiple issues at the same time
8. Perimenopausal or menopausal stages in women prone to anxiety/overthinking
9. Genetic predisposition
10. Illness
11. Poor diet and lack of sleep
    People from all walks of life—celebrities, scientists, CEOs, and military personnel—have overcome anxiety using simple life techniques.
    Life is movement. It is dynamic and pulsating, like a swiftly moving river. To be content and happy is to be in a state of flow. When you are in flow, your body feels light and your mind becomes spontaneous and joyful. Anxiety and fear are the opposite. They are contractions of life. When we get scared, we contract in fear. Our bodies become still, and our minds become fearful and rigid.
    The DARE Approach
    The approach I will discuss is the DARE approach from the book written by Barry McDonagh. Barry uses simple principles to help people overcome anxiety. In this book, he does not teach how to manage anxiety, but how to heal it so you can get back to living life fully. The unique aspect of the DARE approach is that it is designed not to eliminate anxiety, but to eliminate your fear of anxiety. This technique does not promise that you will never feel anxious again—life has challenges—but it helps you get out of the anxious trap with ease.
    Apart from the DARE technique, I will also go over commonly used methods to manage anxiety and lower stress hormones.
    The DARE Response
    Treat your brain as an organ that you control, rather than one that controls you. Anxiety is an internal tug-of-war within yourself. It is your body’s misguided way of trying to protect you from perceived danger, keeping you in fight-or-flight mode. The DARE response teaches you to stop seeing anxiety as an oppressive force and instead as neutral energy that can be channeled positively.
    Step 1: DEFUSE
    Anxiety is nervous energy that has no outlet. The biggest mistake people make is getting caught in “what if” thoughts:
    • What if my heart doesn’t stop pounding?
    • What if I have a panic attack while driving?
    If not handled properly, these thoughts spiral into catastrophic thinking.
    To defuse them, respond with: “So what?”
    • What if my heart doesn’t stop pounding?
    → So what! My heart is strong and will take care of itself.
    • What if I panic while driving?
    → So what! I will pull over and get through it.
    Step 2: ALLOW IT
    It is human nature to resist fear, but resistance keeps you stuck. Instead, allow the feeling:
    “I accept and allow this anxious feeling.” This is accepting cognitive diffusion. Do not create a mental friction to stop the anxiety feeling.
    Do not create mental friction. As Lama Govinda said, “We are transformed by what we accept.

Step 3: RUN TOWARD

Anxiety is a wave of energy. It cannot harm you. The problem is your interpretation of it.
Instead of fearing it, welcome it: “This is not a threat. I welcome this feeling.”
Let the raw energy of your nervous system express itself. Let it excites you rather than terrify you. Chose to feel excited rather than terrified. This is cognitive reappraisal. Initially you will really feel hard to run away, but with regular practice, Overtime, symptoms like a pounding heart, sweating, or dizziness become just sensations—not threats.

Step 4: ENGAGE

The fourth step of DARE response is short but crucial. It is designed to keep your anxious mind out of the way so that your nervous system can fully desensitize and relax. You need to engage with something that takes up your full attention. What that means is that once you have diffused the initial fear and allowed the anxiety to be present, you should then ride out the declining wave of anxiety by occupying yourself with an activity that really engages your mind such a talking on phone, reading a magazine, focusing on a specific task. This is cognitive redirection.

Summary of DARE

1. Defuse anxiety with a “so what” attitude
2. Allow and accept the feeling
3. Remove the sense of threat
4. Engage in the present moment

Helpful Practices: Combination of some of these following activities alongside the DARE methodology will help in faster recovery.
• Regular exercise/Meditation
• Socializing
• Breaking tasks into smaller goals
• Playing sports
• Spending time in nature
• Faith/spirituality
• Being kind to yourself
• Celebrating small wins

Remember: A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.

Monica Gupta is a life sciences professional with a strong background in research, program management, and healthcare innovation. She is passionate about bridging scientific knowledge with real-world impact, particularly in the areas of health and patient advocacy. Through her writing, Monica aims to simplify complex topics and provide practical, accessible tools to help individuals lead healthier, more balanced lives.